Poems I have written about people you have never met before (unless you have met them before) leaving the nameless company that I worked for. (no 6)

Poem for Jayne who used to manage me...and went on to pastures new.

It seems that spring is here again,
But this year’s forecast is for rain
And tears of grief and awful sorrow,
For when we all arrive tomorrow
We’ll find our lady Simpson J
To pastures new has gone away.

Oh, J Simpson what have you done?
You’ll break the hearts of everyone,
You’ll tear the heavens up above
Just like large hands in tiny gloves.
But you did it and now you’re done
You’re off tomorrow, on the run.

Well consider this a trial of tears
Among a jury of your peers
We’ll present the evidence before you
(And try our hardest not to bore you)
Through many subtle structured rhymes
‘fore passing judgement on your crimes.

So let’s present Exhibit A
In the crimes of Simpson J.
First I’d like to bring to light
Production’s misery and plight.
Jayne, you see, is quite a worker,
She certainly is not a shirker.
She has an early bird’s work rate:
She comes in early, stays back late.
Jayne Simpson- she is a wizard
She’d get books to you in a blizzard
She’d divert books to journeys lunar
If she thought you’d get books sooner
She has been known to outrun trains
And leap tall buildings has our Jayne
All to make sure SIIs
Are complete before your eyes.

Let’s move on - Exhibit B!
And careful if you’re sipping tea -
For I wouldn’t want to spill or scold you
Nor you to think I haven’t told you.
Jayne is calmer in calamity
Than she has a right to be.
Take the example of Monsieur Max-
His approach to work was often lax.
Creative were his filing skills
He chewed on PRAFs and shredded bills.
When Jayne turned up to manage him
Her chances seemed at first quite grim.
It seemed as though she’d lose her bottle
Break her calm, give him a throttle
But soon she knocked him into shape
Like a winemaker with grape,
And now I’m sure you’d have to say
He has a rather fine bouquet.

So at last and finally
Is exhibit letter C.
This exhibit is a shocker
It seems that Jayne is quite a rocker
There’s times I’m told, if I’m not wrong
That she has broken into song
I swear to you it takes the (Hey!) Mickey
The notes she hits are deft and tricky,
And that’s not all, oh yes there’s more -
Just watch Jayne when she hits the floor.
She dances like it’s out of style,
She swings those hips, she cuts the pile.
With a pom-pom here and a pom-pom there,
Jayne has feet like Fred Astaire.


[To Jayne]:
And now at last our trial is through
I guess it’s time to sentence you.
I’m afraid the case is open shut
There’s no defence, no if nor but.
So we sentence you to be
Doomed to spend eternity
(Or perhaps a year or three)
Working with young Richard T!
I’m afraid you’ll find parole will not
Be made to free you from the Scot.

So in my formal summing up
I invite you all to lift a cup,
And raise a cheer for Jayne Simps-on
She worked here once, but now she’s gone.