There was a boy named Justin Credible
Who only ate items inedible
When offered a plate
of chips and fried fish
His mouth just went straight
for the porcelain dish.
the mess that he made was regrettable.
And Justin just didn't stop there
For pudding He didn't quite care
So he swallowed his spoon
And ate a balloon
That was filled full of helium air
At which point he must have been feeling
Quite odd as he rose to the ceiling
His Parents of course
Were filled with remorse
And deafened by Justin's high squealing.
They found themselves a strong Cable
And tossed it as high as were able
Justin ate his way down
All the way to the ground
He even went right through the table.
Once down on the floor it is certain
He headed to both of the curtains
His mother had fitted
(And hung them) and knitted
From wool she had purchased in Merton.
And then when he window was done
As his parents looked on both quite stunned
He hoovered the floor
Of carpet and more-
Justin's dinner had only begun.
When Justin had swallowed the telly
4 Channels came out of his belly
Now I've certainly heard
Of sublime and absurd
But this TV dinner's just silly.
He continued on into the extension
Where Justin 's amazing retention
held a hammer, some nails
Antique train track rails
And his father's ingenious inventions.
His father you see had invented
Items that might have prevented
all world pollution
(Dad had the solution)
The Nobel prize he once was presented.
He ate umbrellas and jackets and balls
His mother's most favourite Shawl
Then just in one sitting
He ate all of the fittings
And fixtures to be found in the hall.
The hallway was now quite deserted
So to his bedroom he reverted
And making much noise
He turned on his toys.
His folks were alarmed and alerted.
And no-one was really quite ready
When he started to chew on his teddy.
It's certainly true
That it came from Peru
And Justin had christened him Freddie
His Parents they thought this quite rude
Said They: " Justin Don't toy with your food
....Or food with your toy.
Now listen young boy
You've got us a trifle confused "
Once all of the toys had been doomed
To be gobbled and chewed and consumed
For the Kitchen he hankered-
It's pans, plates and tankards
And appliances rich and perfumed.
His parents thought help would be needed
When our Justin had gone and succeeded
In trying to squeeze the
Fridge and the freezer
Into his tum unimpeded
But Justin's amazing erosion
Could never be halted or frozen
when he swallowed the cooker
Mum reached out and took her
Matches to stop an explosion
The oven it caused some congestion
So Justin posed only this question:
"Oh mum alas,
It's given me gas
Have you something for this indigestion?"
With the house now looking diminished
His Father thought Justin had finished:
"If he eats more than that
Then I'll eat my hat"
He exclaimed with a smile wide and grinnish.
He ate cupboards and blankets and beds,
The hat from on his Dad's Head.
Oh haven't you heard
His Father has words
Now to eat in his hat's stead!
All the pictures he ate in a trice
Carved them up, popped them in slice by slice.
When he chewed at the walls
Mum's look was appalled
She said: "Please Justin heed this advice"
"Justin I think that you ought-ta
Have a quick drink of some water
It will help you to settle
The wood and the metal
Not to mention the bricks and that mortar"
But Justin would not be distracted
From the action that he had exacted
He ate and ate
'Til well past eight
And the contents had all been extracted.
It might seem quite long in the tooth
But he went up and gobbled the roof
And though you might question
Our Justin 's digestion
I promise you it is the truth.
And as he had made his way down
From second to first floor to ground
His parents just stared
As nothing was spared
His hunger- it still knew no bounds.
Once the house was finished he roamed
Outside and ate all the gnomes
"Now listen young Justin,
You must just be busting
For you've eaten us out of our home"
"Something just has to be done
For we love you so deeply my son
But I have a strong feeling
That without a ceiling
Or walls then our life won't be fun"
Justin, with one final slurp,
Let out an almighty BUUURRRRP!
"Wow what a winner,
Mum, thank you for dinner."
He said with a chuckling chirp.
(now what can I have for dessert?)
Though all his things had been eaten
His father refused to be beaten
So being quite canny
He thought of a plan he
Could apply to their lives and so sweeten
All of their familial relations.
So without once losing patience
In a steady old tone
He got on his phone
And made some reorganisations.
Once off the phone dad reported
that he'd managed to get it all sorted
In a tone that was soothing
He said: "we're all moving.
To our new home you will be escorted"
So they set off in their motor car
But they hadn't gone terribly far
Before Justin had eat all
the rust and the metal
And they drove in the light of the stars.
Through a dark forest they travelled
As the rest of the car it unravelled.
While they headed down south
Spare tyre in his mouth
Justin's appetite still was unrivalled.
So it was with quite some elation
That they arrived at their destination
The very next morning
When the sun was just dawning
At a wonderful manifestation
Before them stood a house made of sweets
Of innumerable edible treats.
Ah! The window sills
Were peppermint pills
'Twas truly an architect's feat.
And As they approached moving forwards
They saw Fudge was the choice for the floor-boards
And inside the beams
Were strawberry Creams
And chocolate was changed into cupboards.
Atop was a satellite dish
Made out of black Liquorice,
On the roof there were piles
Of toffee carved tiles
This cottage was every child's wish.
Though that is clearly not right
For whether at day or at night
Though the door was a wafer
No house could be safer
From our hero's huge appetite.
Just then and quite out of breath
Came a witch whose face looked like death
She muttered and mumbled
And grimaced and grumbled
"Oh, hello there my name is Beth"
"Here is the house that you're buying
A nightmare it's been, I'm not lying
Those two little brats
Keep teasing my cats
My Goodness! They're frightfully trying"
"I'm sick of them constantly bleating
Whenever it is that we're meeting
'We've lost our way
Please let us stay'
It's them not my house that needs eating"
Justin's dad was quite sympathetic
"Even though our house was synthetic"
Said he to the witch
"There's now not a stitch
Since our Justin got hungry and eat it"
"But he's our own flesh and blood and we love him
We don't mind what others think of him
For whatever he's done
He still is our son
And we must put a new roof above him"
The witch could now see quite clearly
How the Credible's loved him so dearly
The frown on her face
was quickly replaced
By a tear that was loving and pearly.
She suddenly was filled with regret
For the children that she had upset
So she jumped on her broom
And sooner than soon
Found work with poor kids in Tibet.
Now His Parents can start to forget all
Their worries now J Just eats metal
And their house is not swallowed
Unless they are followed
By those pesky kids Hansel and Gretel.
And though it's amusing this diet
I sincerely hope you don't try it
(Unless there's no sound
And no one's around
To look through your window and spy it)
